Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this beer tastes like vomit already
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
