I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
