i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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