And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
