he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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