I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
