you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
