Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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