girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
