You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
