I accidentally burped into my bong.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
