I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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