why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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