my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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