I love black thongs
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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