I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
