i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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