I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize