I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
