Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
