I think im going to throw up on grandma
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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