Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How does it feel to date your dad?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize