I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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