I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize