I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I need a burrito and a hug.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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