i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
