thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My pussy is not your playground.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
