I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
