I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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