who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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