Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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