Tell her she can't have a vagina
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
