I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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