**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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