I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize