I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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