someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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