My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
