So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
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I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
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I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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