brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
