No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
