I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
