You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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