just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
