i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
