Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
