physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
