he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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