when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize