So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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