My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
