Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
