did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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