Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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