My brain says no but my pants say off.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I deserve this hangover.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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