1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
