Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.