My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
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I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
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You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online