so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
